The Loss of a Dear Friend

Last week was an emotional week, not only with knee surgery, and attempts at rescuing a runaway dog, but a dear friend was lost. She fought the valiant battle, savored every moment of her life with her husband, children, and grandchildren, continued her hobbies and always tried to live life as each day would allow. She was one of the strongest and most courageous people I knew, and I was proud to have her AND her husband and family as friends. Her name, Arlene Rizzardi.

Arlene and I met several years ago at work. Our program was going through some changes and she was brought in as Administrative Assistant-she was a God send! Our supervisor has suffered a serious illness and I was asked to try to “run” things for a while. I also had a full case load of students so it was very difficult as far as time. Arlene was there, and helped in more ways than she ever knew.

Outside of work (and at work) we developed a friendship, and oh did we have good times!!!! The Rizzardi house was always a welcome retreat for all ages. Almost any time you could find friends of their four children and their own friends mingling and enjoying each other’s company. It was a “home” for many and often their children’s friends would stop by without their children even being there-that’s just how it was! Everyone always felt at home at the Rizz’s! And it was Arlene and George that made it that way!

We often went out dancing and partying on Fridays and some times Thursdays-we ALWAYS had a great time! Laugh, dance, and enjoying the crowd was the motto for the evening. Arlene even taught me some great dances-the five point (I think she taught me and her daughter Lisa the same night), the Calypso, and the stroll-she was just that way always charged and ready to have fun.

Arlene and George were a very special part of our wedding as well. Arlene was our greeter and George kept the drivers and every one else in line. It was just the way it should have been in my mind-Arlene was always the first person seen when anyone entered our offices at work, so she should have been the first person seen at our wedding. It was just the way I wanted it. She was so brave even then as our wedding occurred not long after she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Carcinoid. Didn’t stop her though-she and George were both there and made our day all the more special!

You know how friends are-we could talk about anything! And George is the same way-although some times George and I would go off a little too far and Arlene would remind us, nicely of course, that we were straying a bit too far. It never mattered where we were; we talked, laughed, and some times shared a tear or two. Their front porch was a great stopping place, as was their kitchen. When possible we'd join together for breakfast on a Sunday as the years went on. Even if we didn’t talk for a while, we could always just pick up as if we saw each other yesterday-Arlene was just that kind of a person.

When she was preparing to enter the hospital for her heart valve procedure, she sent out an email to us all, letting us know what was coming up and for one of the first times ever, expressing some concern and worriment. I wrote back to her and told her as I (and others) have said many times, “You are one of the most courageous and strongest people I know, and you can do it.” Those were the last words I shared with my friend. When I spoke with her husband George after her procedures, Arlene was having difficult times, but the family was still hopeful. Unfortunately as time went on Arlene’s body was unable to continue the battle she fought so valiantly for ten and one half years, she passed away. As the family made their announcement on their Caring Bridge web site, I wept. It was the saddest news, and even though I knew she was struggling, I still didn’t expect it. Why? Because Arlene was a fighter, she survived and LIVED through more that I or anyone else I know has-she seemed to almost take things in stride and didn’t obsess over it. She accepted it all, did what she could, and moved on as she was able-what a strong person!

George called me, bless him, on Thursday night after the family returned home. I was so grateful for his call-after all he had been through; he took some time to call me, I was touched. We talked for a bit, and it felt so good just to talk. He is so lucky (as was Arlene) to have four terrific children, and sons and daughter in-laws, and grand babies-they will always have each other, and they ALL will always have Arlene.

So I say to my friend Arlene…you remain one of the strongest and most courageous people I have ever known. Thank you for your friendship, thank you for sharing your terrific family, and opening your home to so many. Thank you for everything you did when we worked together, and most of all thank you for all the wonderful memories-you will never be forgotten! Rest in peace, my friend!