Joys of House Training-Just When I thought She was Catching On...

a little puddle appeared. Up until now Lil' Miss Maddie (now 13 weeks) has been pretty reliable without accidents. Of course it seems that every waking moment that she is outside her crate, I run her in and out. Yes I exaggerate, but it feels that way some days. She is on a schedule- first thing in the morning, after food, after play, and after nap. That's a lot of "afters." But I know it won't last forever, and perhaps in another few weeks all those trips in and out will be a thing of the past...I hope. And hey look! Her ears are up!

Not Much Info...

Well I finally heard from the doctor's office...two days later. The info was pretty scant, nothing to write home about. I was told there was an injury but no tears, I should start physical therapy and return to the office in 6 weeks. Hmmm....that doesn't tell me why I still wake up during the night in agony, but I guess since I'm not sleeping with the doctor or his staff, they really don't care. Of course I can return if "things change or get worse." Perhaps I should attempt to return now and then maybe by the time the six weeks are up...I might have made contact. Cynical, I know.

I'm Still Waiting...

Well here it eleven, almost 12 days after my MRI and I still haven't heard a word. However, the story doesn't stop there, there's MORE!

Through the years I've had a few unfortunate run-ins with medical professionals- from doctors right on down the line to their receptionists. Now you might think that I am demanding or inconsiderate or just plain rude to have had so many of these experiences, but I tell you that couldn't be further from the truth. I swear as God is my witness! That is not to say I will take a back seat, but I just typically weigh my odds and battles carefully.

The nasty experiences were not necessarily about me, some times they involved the care of extended family, or even a violation of my own privacy right! For example, my doctor's office sent my medical records to a former employee WITHOUT my consent. Actually, I had written them a letter specifically stating where the medical records were to be sent, but did they listen? NO! I had to retrieve my very personal information from an employer which I no longer had any contact with. Of course the employer assured me that "no one read the records." Yes, and I fell off the turnip truck yesterday.

Another incident involved my aunt who went into respiratory failure. Upon taking her to a local hospital we were met by a very condescending and RUDE physician. You would not believe how she spoke to my 80 year old mother! I had left the room momentarily and came back to my mother in utter shock from the way this person spoke. As she told me about it my blood began to boil, but then I looked at my aunt struggling to breath and I decided to calm down. I approached the Doctor and she literally went off on my about how I refused treatment for my aunt before, and how no doctor wants to treats her, and why don't we go back the out of town hospital where she was before! I was flabbergasted! A woman lies struggling to breath and this woman/Doctor is spewing such lies-where did this come from? As I continued to question her the answer soon came out (and doctors are supposed to be so smart). Seems our family doctor (who doesn't go to the hospital) made the mistake of referring her to an internist's practice which she had left due to lack of treatment. Allow me to clarify-my aunt had some serious medical issues which left her physically weak, with a temporary tracheotomy, and suffering from a poor swallow response. We were told by the University Hospital which treated her, that it would take time but she would be able to have the trach removed after much therapy. Since that hospital was 50 miles from home, my aunt decided to come closer for treatment. Unfortunately, the doctor here decided the trach was permanent and therapy would be of no benefit. My aunt decided she wanted to go back to the hospital's rehab at the university. Guess who the doctor at the local nursing home was? The same Doctor who got the ER doctor all rilled up saying we refused treatment. When I discovered this is where is came from, I politely yet firmly told the ER doctor that "we did NOT refuse treatment, we refused LACK of treatment." Of course it didn't matter, her mind was made up and she told every other doctor her lie. Mean while my aunt struggled for breath. Finally a pulmonary doctor who had treated my aunt before agreed to see and treat her, of course I had to hear about from him too. And he didn't want to hear my story either, after all I'm only a lay person NOT a doctor. My aunt passed away several days later.

I know there are many others who can share stories such as these. As a matter of fact I have been sitting on my own book, titled, The Dark Side of Medicine for quite some time. I don't know what I'm waiting for as far as submitting to publishers, I just feel I need to wait a bit. But I digress...

So almost 2 weeks ago I had an MRI, after I decided to have second opinion on my knee. The MRI center told me that they will send me the disc and I am to get it to the doctor. During my initial office visit, the Dr. told me that I was to call his office after I thought he would have received the reports (first conflict). So I wait, and wait and wait and so 6 days pass and no MRI film in my box, so I call the doctor's office. They don't have it either. I call the MRI center, they refer me to radiology, who then tells me the disc is still there. Hmmmm....so I go and pick it up. I then send it via UPS over night. UPS felt that is would get there before lunch the next day. So I wait until the following day to call the Dr's. office. With a very short and snippy person on the line, I am informed it is not there. I question how that can be since I shipped it overnight. She responds, "we didn't have mail yesterday." My response, "I sent it UPS. You mean you didn't get any deliveries?" Avoiding my question she said the doctor would call me when he sees it. I said "but the Dr. told me I was to call him!" She said, "well you already called us once, so we'll call you."

Uh-huh.

Another day passes and all I really want to know is that the large fee I paid to ship the darn film wasn't in vain. So I call the office again, just explaining I want to just make sure the film arrived. The receptionist who was very snippy previously, was even more so today. With a very exasperated "hold on" she leaves me hanging in telephone space for a lengthy time. She returns and using a tone I wouldn't use on road kill says, "The Dr. has it he'll call you today or tomorrow." As I attempted to ask another question I was privy to a loud fumbling hang up. No thank, no good bye, no kiss my grits. I was furious! Who do these people think pays their salaries? No one is THAT great that people will keep coming back to pay to be treated rudely-c'mon! This type of scenario, at least in my experiences, seems to happen most within medicine. One doctor even had the audacity to say to me in regards to another colleague's tirade with me, that he was probably having a bad day. Can you imagine! As a teacher there may have been many bad days of my own, but never did I take it out on the children or their families-I wonder if a Dr would be so forgiving in that instance-doubtful. It just amazes me that people who are in and paid for caring and tending others can be so gosh darn rude. Blows my mind!

Pet Food that Kills

2007 was a year of loss and heavy emotion for us. Hanna developed pancreatitis and kidney failure in November 2006, but had recovered (much to every one's surprise, and to our delight)and was maintaining very well after her initial healing. So the early months of 2007 were filled with joy in that Hanna's illness had turned around. In March of 2007, we saw our cat Kearsey begin to deteriorate and refuse her food, which is something she never did. Initially I chalked some of her changes up to the aging process, but I became more concerned when I needed to almost force feed her. As I prepared to take her to the vet one morning, she went into a seizure.

She never had seizures before, and was given a pretty clean bill of health at her last vet visit. She came out of that seizure and when I touched her, she went into another one. We rushed her to the Emergency Vet Clinic to discover she was in kidney failure, which was suspect of eating tainted food. I was furious. I was also upset because I had tried to force feed her the poisoned food. (You can read more about her story on Hanna's site. Parts of her story also appeared in the editorial of Animal Wellness Magazine in 2007) The options were to try to treat her or euthanasia. Of course I opted for treatment.

Now I had two pets being treated for kidney disease. It was like a hospital unit upstairs. Bags of fluids hung from an IV pole. Needles and alcohol swaps nearby. Every day at noon time the subcutaneous drips were administered. First for Hanna as she usually wanted it over quickly so she could move on, and second for Kearsey. Hanna was definitely more tolerant of the treatment while poor Kearsey absolutely hated it. But unfortunately, it was helping to sustain both of them.

Upon purchasing single cans of a prescription diet for Hanna, as opposed to the usual case, I began to notice that she was avoiding this once loved canned food. She ate the dry and anything else in her bowl but she did not want to eat this. I thought this was odd because it was only that one part of her diet. (Again you can read more about this on her site.) I realized that some times animals with kidney disease refused food, but it typically would be all food. I finally had her blood levels drawn and they were the same as before. This was perplexing because I could see her changing, but I kept trying to get her to eat the food "That saved her" before. I took her for another vet check and was told she checked out "good" and there was no need for another blood test as she just had one two weeks prior. I began to suspect the canned food as it did contain an ingredient which was suspect of being tainted, rice protein concentrate. I made several calls to this pet food company and was basically given scant scripted information. Within two weeks of her "good" blood test and 3 weeks of her refusal of the canned food-she became anemic (which she never was), developed crystals in her urine, and went into kidney failure. She was euthanized within three weeks of this entire scenario. I will always believe it was the food, and based on her history no one will ever convince me otherwise. Even though this company never officially recalled this product (can you imagine the devastation to their business and profits if they had to recall a popular prescription diet?), I believe it was tainted. It all happened too fast and way out of context and history for Hanna. Of course, the company would never admit to this because even the smallest amount of toxin fed to an already compromised animal would do more damage, and they can't come forward and admit their food was a problem. They would choose to say "it was the natural course of the pet's illness," and I say "not this time." I know my dog and her medical history and I saw her sudden changes. I just wonder how many other already ill pets fell prey to the alleged lie. I would question any pet with kidney disease, who was eating these products, and died during 2007. Too much coincidence. No matter if fault is ever admitted, it won't bring Hanna back. But it has opened my eyes, I will never use any products from this company again.

So in May of 2007, we laid precious Hanna to rest. Kearsey was still battling, but within a month she lost her eye sight suddenly. She had a difficult time adjusting to this sudden loss. It was sad. In August of 2007 Kearsey died. Five months after her diagnosis. She ate food from the same company as Hanna. In my eyes and heart, that company took something away from me that can never be replaced. Because of their neglect and lack of proper product screening, I will always believe I lost two very precious friends. If all the companies would have been up front and honest, caring about their consumers from the beginning, they might still have my support, but unfortunately, it can only be construed as greed. They took away my ability to give my pets the basic necessities with confidence, and that is unforgivable.

Local Family Reading Festival

What a great time we had this past Saturday! Our local newspaper, along with the Literacy Council, PBS, and a local preschool organization hosts a reading festival every year at a local mall. Schools are invited to attend and provide the visiting children with a variety of activities, while authors are invited to share their books and talk with the children and families. It was a record day as reported by the organizing party! Close to 600 hundred children attended the four hour event.

Since my latest children's book, The Smith Family's New Puppy-Helping Children Cope with a New Family Member, utilizes my own animals as the characters, I had two of the "characters" attend to help promote. They were quite the attention getter's and many didn't even realize they were real until they saw them move. Trevar our Scottie and the adopted character in the story, sat proudly as passersby talked to him. Since we lost Hanna last year, I brought Rori our young Westie along. Darby (the other Westie in the story) is very shy as I adopted her when she was 2. She doesn't like to be in strange places so she stayed at home with puppy Maddie.

I was so proud of the dogs as people commented on how quiet and well behaved they were. Of course it gave me a good forum to promote dog training classes as well. Hanna, Trevar, and Rori have always accompanied us to shows and are quite used to the hub bub, so they enjoy sitting perched on their table taking in the scenery. I now look at little Maddie and wonder if I will ever get her to the same point as the others. You know how puppies are-short attention spans and highly distractable.

It was kind of cute to see people look at the book, then look at the photo of the dogs on the table, and then with surprise, look up and actually see two real dogs. The book store actually asked me to bring them to a signing if we can set one in before the holidays. So I guess, dog training pays off.

We met a lot of people and sold a good amount of books. The publicity for the event was fantastic and I believe there were at least 12 other authors in attendance as well-great for the children to see so many writers! It was a great day and I was honored to have been a part of it. I think the dogs enjoyed it as well.

Oh I forgot! I had quite a few old friends stop by, ones that I hadn't seen in years-so it really was a great day!

Is It an "Age" Thing? Perhaps...

Yesterday I went for an MRI on my right knee. Almost from the beginning of my natural life I seemed to have orthopedic issues. When I was very young they planted me in ugly, and I mean ugly ortho shoes to supposedly correct my flat feet. Well guess what....they're still flat! I spent years enduring the shame, torture and humiliation of those darn shoes (okay I'm over dramatizing a bit, but you get the point).

When I turned 6 my legs grew faster than my body, and as I look at those pictures now I laugh at the skinny gangly blond headed young girl. Arms appearing to reach the sides of her knees and legs seemingly starting at her neck and heading south. OK again perhaps a slight exaggeration.

Since I loved to play sports my ortho problems seemed to follow and I was always taped up before games. I remember as a teenager laying in bed a night with intense pain in my knees. It would often keep me awake, but I thought it was the price I had to pay to play. Doctor after doctor gave little support-"growing pains" was typically the response. Funny how the "growing pains" never went away after I was done growing.

Since I marched in a drum and bugle corps from ages 11.5-17 a lot of time was spent pounding my knees on grass, roadways, or any other marchable surface. I had to wear knee supports and pads to protect my overly sensitive knees. But the pain and discomfort of my knee issues neither kept me from playing sports or marching with the drum and bugle corps. I always needed to be active. It wasn't until I was 27 years did I learn the "name" of my knee ailments-chrondomalacia bilateral patella alta and Osgood Schlatter's Disease. Interesting...I thought it was growing pains?

So I would be plagued with some issues throughout my life. It's okay, one learns to deal. Throughout the years I've had some knee scopes, a torn meniscus and a few minor twist and turn injuries, but I just kept on going as I LOVE to play.

This year, right before my favorite time of year Summer, I severely sprained my lower back, and I mean severely! I never knew such pain. This was an area that had never had a problem so this was definitely new to me. Agony, pure agony-months later I'm still contending with back issues, and I often find myself in disbelief. I thought if one exercised those types of things didn't happen. I guess I'm a tad naive or frankly stupid, because injuries can happen to any one, at least that's what I've been told. So that has been my Summer and now Fall, back issues.

So I finally join up with our alumni corps, the Belvederes. We had a few parades and standstill concerts lined up. I was excited to be back with old friends, and feeling like a youngster once again. It was the second parade I participated in since going back, and it was in our home town. It was just like old times until...I planted my foot and my knee bent and turned the opposite way-ewiooooouuu! I stopped only momentarily as the horn line was marching my way. I hobbled off to the side of the road in agony, still thinking in my mind, "it's just a cramp, it will go away-WRONG!" As the corps and the remainder of the parade marched by I sat on the side walk accompanied only by my cymbals AND excruciating pain. I couldn't move. Not only was I mortified, I really didn't know what to do. A nice gentleman came over and asked if I was okay, I said "yes" initially and when I tried to move changed it to "no I guess not." To make a long story short, an officer came over, then one ambulance, then another and I ended up being transported via ambulance to a local hospital where they nicely offered to cut off my pants. I declined and said I could take the tugging on my leg to pull them off-yeah, right.

After ice, x-ray, and exam the ER doctor informed me he suspected some pretty intense damage (no kidding). I was sent home with crutches, a knee immobilizer, a prescription for pain (it was 10 pm in our everything closed town), a very serious "You absolutely MUST see your orthopedic doctor tomorrow," and lots and lots of pain. My ortho visit the following day was uneventful-"try to wean yourself off the immobilizer and crutches and start Physical Therapy. OK.

The pain didn't allow much sleep and the therapy was painful. But most disconcerting of all was the minimal improvement with treatment and the concerns expressed as to whether there was more to this injury. So off for a second opinion, more x-rays, a second exam, and an MRI.

Still in pain (14 days later) with knee slightly bent, I await the results of the MRI. My conclusion-if I would just sit still and not participate in anything, perhaps I would remain injury free. But then again, COULD I do this? Better still...do I really want to? Nah...I wanna' have fun, pain and all. I want to participate in as much as possible, it keeps me humble and active.

So is it an age thang? Maybe, maybe not. Seems to have followed me for a very long time, and I'll just continue to turn around and chase it right back. Results of MRI, pending.

My Latest Work-in-Progress

I have been so blessed by many things in my life and that includes sharing my home with many wonderful pets through the years. They have always brought me great joy and comforted me in times of need. As any pet lover knows, they seem to sense the need, and answer it so willingly.

Hanna was such a dog. A small West Highland White Terrier who sought my attention from her puppy pen so long ago. She was the tiniest member of her litter mates but her personality was huge. She was quick to learn and loved any type of attention. Hanna loved to perform whether it was in the show ring or at a nursing home, she was always happy for applause.

Diagnosed with kidney disease at a very early age, never stopped Hanna from living her life to the fullest. Among her many nicknames was "Happy Hanna." She was always happy. Her tail was always up and wagging and she sought eye contact to make sure you noticed her. How could any one ignore her, she was "just too damn cute!"

Her book, tentatively titled For the Love of Hanna-It's Okay to Love of a Dog, was actually inspired by her web site of the same name. As I tried to heal from her loss her stories vividly appeared in my mind and subsequently on paper. I decided to create a web site to honor her memory, but it was also an instrument to visually remind me about her many wonderful life stories that sustained and entertained us through the years. Her antics, her pictures, her love, her spirit and strength and her dedication to life has always been an inspiration. I received some nice feedback from readers of her site and was encouraged at how people were touched by her stories and how they readily shared a Hanna story may have sparked a memory of their own departed friend. It was very touching.

And so I began writing and filling pages with Hanna stories-struggles, triumphs, loves, losses, questions, healing and so much more. I have been stuck on the final chapter for some time. This is the place where I am reviewing her medical history and saying final good byes-it is difficult for me to focus as even after a years her loss brings tears. She was so special! Writing her final chapter is like the the emotional finale of her life, I can't help but wonder if my subconscious is clinging to that thought and blocking my words. I continue to tell myself when it is finished she will live on in those pages, just as she, Darby, Trevar, and Kearsey live on in my children's book, The Smith Family's New Puppy.

My goal is to finish that final chapter, edit, and edit again and begin submitting to prospective publishers by the end of this year. My hope for her title is to help others spark memories of their pets and to ideally support their healing and validate some of the feelings that come during a time of loss. Of course, I hope we can make them laugh as well, Hanna was always good at being funny.

I hope you'll visit her site and keep an eye out for her book. Well wishes are always welcome!

Lil' Maddie

Ah yes...so cute, so tiny, and so....well...untrained! It is always difficult to adjust to a little mind that is just starting to learn and explore, when you have seasoned and learned canines in your home. It's like...what was I thinking?

She just turned 10 weeks old, and has now taken us back to the four dog household. We lost our precious Hanna in May of 2007 and although her void will never be filled, we do welcome our newest little one. (You can read more about Hanna on her own site, link below and to the right. Her site and supporters have encouraged me to write her book which is near completion.)

Maddie is a handful, aren't most puppies? In two days she has learned to respond to her name and "come," hopefully it will last. She has potential no doubt, but it is her humans who will have to continue to be vigilant with her training. Puppy teeth hurt and I forgot just how much until a few days ago.

I thought Darby our eldest would take her under her wing as she did with all the others, but as of yet, this hasn't happened. We were concerned about Rori, our youngest Westie, as she has always been a bit more temperamental than the others, however, she is showing a greater interest in Maddie that the others...unless she secretly wants to eat her. Trevar our most laid back dog and Scottie has turned a surprising snarling tooth at Maddie, much to our surprise. We realize it takes time for all to adjust, and it just may take a bit longer as Hanna was pretty much the leader and all followed her lead.

Potty training has been great, not that she understands, I do. I know to take her out after food, after play, and some times in between. It will all come together...it will just take time. I

Just When I Thought it was safe...a Migraine Attacked

Migraine, that pick ax pain penetrating my forehead followed by nausea, dizziness, and that overall "rotten feeling." It's the kind of body experience that takes over your entire being. And it came rolling into my head like a runaway freight train early Saturday morning.

I actually had pretty much convinced myself that the intense 3 day Migraines occurring 9-12 days or more per month may be a thing of the past. I hadn't experience a knock down drag out one for over a month. That is not to say I didn't have one during that month, they were just manageable. I had started acupuncture sessions and was feeling confident that they were helping (I still believe-I'm just a bit disillusioned at this point). I also had been maintaining a healthy regimented exercise program as well, complete with cardio, strength training, pilates, and yoga. Of course on "dizzy days" those activities may not occur, but I try my best to maintain those routines. The dogs typically accompany me on my walks so we all stay healthy.

So back to Saturday...not only did I have a headache increasing in intensity as the day went on, but we had planned on picking up a puppy on this day. A young puppy was to join our mature bunch of canines-ages 15.5 years, 7.9 years, and 3.8 years-what am I, nuts? The answer is...yes, you guessed it.

With head pounding we drove 40 miles to pick up our charge, and she carried on inconsolably all the way home. I continued to try to remain calm throughout the day as stress only increases the headache discomfort. I did well for the most part; I kept my patience, reminded others, human and furry that she needed time to adjust, and was able to monitor crowd control, but my head pounded and I was actually...miserable. But we made it through that day and night with the puppy. She actually slept through the entire night, I wish I could say the same for me. Toss and turn, dizziness, head pain, absolute torture throughout the night and then morning comes...ick! What a feeling! It all becomes worse on the second day.

I decided to go the extra-strength Excedrin route, but I had to eat something first or it would burn my stomach. Now how does one eat when one is nauseous? Verrrrry carefully. While the Excedrin brought some relief it was not enough to squelch my miserableness inside. But I did persevere with the help of my husband, and the "crew" managed. Ice packs from head to neck and back again, exerting pressure on the painful sites of my head, and squeezing the back of my neck all are rituals of the dreaded Migraine "dance." Did I mention I was also suppose to read during worship service Sunday? You know that didn't happen. And there you have an emotional side of Migraine-how does one commit to anything when the possibility and surprise of Migraine may occur? I admit I've gotten better about the guilt of canceling, but it still is quite troublesome-I HATE to commit and then go back on my word. Perhaps it is a flaw in my character but it just makes me feel plain awful!

Monday morning found me very very nauseous and dizzy, and guess what? I needed to travel 35 miles to see a specialist that day. I had injured my knee a week ago and while it had improved somewhat, it wasn't doing as well as hoped sought out a second opinion. Well fortunately by the time we had to leave for the appointment the dizziness and nausea had settled enough to get me there. Did I mention when it rains it pours?

The results of the "knee visit" are yet to be determined. I'll keep you posted. As for the Migraine, while better today, its effects linger-a little nausea, a little dizziness, and a little exhaustion from lack of restful sleep, but we'll manage and hopefully as the day goes on, it will all be better.

Introduction and Blog plan

Well I finally did it...started an official blog that is! So? Where to begin? My plan for this space is to share, receive feedback (mostly good hopefully), and learn with my soon to be readers. You are out there right? I hear a definite echo at this point.

These are the areas I hope to focus on within my blog world; my pets-those wonderful furry little beasties that fill my heart, my creative world-my books, articles, and commentary on the creative side of life, life in general which can bring great joy and often deep contemplation, Migraines-ick those nasty boogers that have tortured me for many many years, and my latest passion, the Belvederes Drum and Bugle Corps Alumni Association.

So there you have it...the beginning, my hopes and aspirations, the initial post in what I hope will be an interesting and some times humorous place to share. Hey if nothing else it encourages improving my typing skills. So if you're in the neighborhood, why not stop by?