Dana Smith-Mansell

My lyme beginning continued...

2011-07-12T09:24:00.000-07:00

So in July of 09 I was FINALLY admitted to the hospital in total agony and feeling like well...not good. The drs. who were treating me in the hospital were treating me for a terrible migraine, but didn't have much thoughts about all the other "stuff" going on-Fibromyalgia was tossed out there, but I knew it wasn't that. But they were so good and vigialant it was just that not one of us thought to recheck lyme as my previous dr. was ADAMANT that I didn't have lyme.

My skin hurt to the touch. I had a sharp stabbing constant pain in my left shoulder blade that kept me from any kind of rest. My headache was so severe i could barely hold my head up or keep my eyes open because of the light sensitivity. My neck hurt and was stiff. Narcotics did not take away my pain, nor even offer me some medicated sleep. A few days in the hospital and I developed severe right flank pain-thinking it was a kidney stone they took me for a CT, nothing found. I spent my nights alone in tears from the pain and lack of sleep. I actually begged God to make it stop, I didn't know how much longer I could hold on.

I was taken for a nerve block in my neck which did relieve the head issues some what but all else persisted. My experiences during this time were dragging me down physically and mentally and I didn't know how much more I could take. I wondered how people with severe chronic pain managed day to day, because I was NOT doing very well.

They finally placed a fentanyl patch on the pain in my back/neck area-all that did was make me extremely nauseous-I couldn't eat for days.

Finally after nine days, I asked to go home. Even though there wasn't any diagnosis or resolution, I think I just wanted to go home and give up. Still in pain and still trying to cope and find answers....

Almost one week later I developed a right sided facial palsy. Called my neurologist, and after I asked if he thought I was having a stroke (which I really didn't think I was), he said I needed to go to the ER. Great back there again! But this time... I INSISTED they run a Lyme test, can you believe they didn't want to initially? They gave me a 7 day course of antibiotics. I had to return to the ER as I had an adverse reaction to the original prescription. But mind you...only 7 days and all my problems would go away????

Well I kept calling the hospital lab for my results and finally 4 days later..test in...Lyme Disease off the charts
My Lyme Screen was >5.oo High
Out of the 15 bands tested I was non-reactive for three. All other bands were reactive or positive. Imagine?

Within a few days of starting the antibiotics, the palsy left (altho my right eye is still blurry) and my severe pain and other symptoms began to lessen (Imagine the immediate changes all from just a little old antibiotic? )Gee if only I had been given a course of antibiotics back in the beginning when I asked my then GP, perhaps it all wouldn't have gotten so far!?!

So my new dr agreed to prescribe antibiotics and as thirty days came and went, the symptoms returned, so we eventuall went with a ninety day course of antibiotics. I finally began to feel huma again AND I slept like a baby-no pain, no muscle twitches, no cramping, nothing.

So I began to heal....but then...IT"S BAAAAAACK!

Lyme Disease-the Beginning for me

2011-06-19T05:15:00.000-07:00

June 2009, as I stated previously, I began to feel unwell during this time. My body began to ache like a bad case of the flu. During this time I also began to develop a pain in my neck (literally) and of course the headaches were becoming more intense. (I do suffer from migraines). I did have rashes but not the "classic" circular rash that so many rely so heavily on. I had a rash on the right side of my face along the jaw line that seemingly would come and go. Later on I developed what my husband referred to as a "belt strap slap" on my left shoulder blade. I had an MRI of my neck revealing minor age related changes. I was prescribed muscle relaxants to no avail. I ended of in the Emergency Room several times due to severe headaches and neck pain-each time I was given narcotics which barely took the edge off, and sent home. (Oh I did get some basic blood work too) Since we were not getting any answers for my downward spiral, I began to think it was fallout from all the narcotics given for my headaches. Two Lyme screens came up negative, but the second test was taken after an ER doctor prescribed me a 10 day course of antibiotics for a "viral syndrome." So naturally the second test was tainted by treatment. I continued to feel worse and worse. My symptoms: severe neck pain, severe headaches, overall joint and muscle pain (not aches-real pain), my joints felt as if they were swollen yet they weren't, extreme lethargy, muscle twitches/jerks, inability to sleep due to pain, shooting pains radiating down my legs from my hips, lower back pain, shoulder and elbow pain, nausea, dizziness/lightheartedness, numbness, extremity tingling, and severe pain in my left should blade area which became the pain in addition to the headaches that kept me from sleep for weeks. Early in July I had asked for another course of antibiotics recognizing that I did feel a little better on that ten day course prescribed by an ER Dr. but I was turned down. And everything continued to spiral downward....
I went to the ER several time over the next few weeks only to be given narcotics and sent back home. Once I even came in by ambulance because I couldn't walk, ad was so light headed-the ER gave me more narcotics and left me WALK out of the ER. This went on for several weeks. Oh and lest I forget the Dr. who never even looked at me in ER but wanted me to have a spinal tap. I looked at the ER Dr and said, "He wants me to have a procedure that will likely intensify the pain (headache) I'm already in?" I told him "not now" and he concurred, and besides he said I wouldn't really want him to do it, and I said "no only a neurologist or surgeon experienced with lumbar punctures." I later learned from an infectious disease Dr. and neurologist that the tap they would have put me through probably would have been to no avail as it might show some infection, but without looking specifically for the "Lyme et al" it wouldn't have provided any info. They might have spotted an infection and given me a short course of antibiotics but it would not have been enough to eradicate the disease at that point. So I'm glad I said "no." I was in so much agony I couldn't bear the thought of more pain. After many ER visits a I laid on the the dirty ER waiting room floor, I begged for relief. They took me in (I guess they didn't want me on the floor). I begged (imagine!) to be admitted-I couldn't take it any more. I was refused once again by a Dr who never even saw me. A kind ER Dr came on and after reading my lengthy info over the past month and hearing me today said we'll keep you here until the hospital Dr. comes on. BLESS HIM!!! But alas...my turmoil was not over..

Lyme disease..it is more than a bite!

2011-05-30T18:15:00.000-07:00

Stay tuned as I will be utilizing my blog to journal my battle with Lyme disease. In 2009, after successfully rescuing a dog that was lost on our mountain for a year, I began to feel down right bad physically. My entire body just ached, it felt like I had a bad case of the flu. My stamina was diminishing, and my dive into the "unknown" began....

Rant...just a little?

2010-02-24T04:49:00.000-08:00

Well it was a disappointment all around at least for the contest below. As I said, I never like to enter any contest where one needs to solicit votes, all that proves is that one has a lot of friends or relatives or they know how to bribe, it's a tad distasteful for me but...reluctantly I entered Rori, not only because of her talents and expressiveness but because I had hoped to make a difference for local homeless animals.

Well a few friends came through and for that we are grateful. On the other hand quite a few folks wrote or called to tell me that they were having a heck of time either voting, registering, or obtaining verification for their registration. I wrote to the company to inform them but unfortunately a response was not sent until the "tail" end of Rori's voting period. Now don't get me wrong, I never expected to get the top votes, I just don't know that many people nor would I ask, but I did believe we could have be in the top five. I'm not bitter(even if it sounds that way), all the pets on the site have a story, talent, and their own individual beauty...I just hoped for a fair "shake" for Rori and the homeless animals here in our area.

Now to the real rant...I am sort of "stoic" person...rarely asking anyone for anything. It has just never been in my nature to "ask." But for this...I thought there isn't a cost, just a few moments of time to possible help others, so...I asked. Now...I am always one of the first to support others in their endeavors, willing to donate, help, vote, share information, support others in need either with physical help or financial donations. And I don't do these things to gain any type of reward, however I did expect that perhaps people would be more open to helping since there wasn't any fee or extensive time involved, just a few minutes (unless you were one who couldn't get on to vote). I discovered my expectations fell very short as I learned of many who could have voted and didn't...and some of these people are those who have asked for support for themselves or family members. Which brings me to the reasons I probably never like to ask...if I don't ask...I'll never be disappointed in knowing that someone didn't help. I know...sort of juvenile in thought but it is the way I feel. And I just might think twice the next time some one asks me too.

So...we didn't make it into the finals, however I continue to blessed by a few good friends who will support my endeavors when asked (thank you), and the fact that my heart remains full of expression and talent, and always brings a smile to my face, for I am filled with the love of very talented, loving and entertaining terriers.

Stay tuned...you never know when or where their talents and expressions may appear ......

Check out their site at: http://www.talentedterriers.com

Please vote!!

2010-02-01T12:10:00.000-08:00

I have a special request...The above picture is Rori, our second youngest Westie. Rori is extremely expressive and very up beat. She provides pet therapy at a local hospital every week and loves helping the patients with their therapy. She is very smart and knows over 5o tricks! Rori is not only very obedient but is very affectionate and a little silly! We just love her!

We have entered her in the Bissell Most Valuable Pet contest. She is in period five which begins 2/5/10 and concludes on 2/11 (her birthday). While I am not fond of contests that solicit votes the outcome for this one could benefit many. The grand prize winner (chosen from the top winner each week) will win $10,000 for their favorite pet charity. Our chosen charity would be the Hillside SPCA, a local no-kill shelter. But first we would have to win week five with the top number of votes. Won't you please vote for Rori and help the SPCA? Remember voting for Rori begins on 2/5. Thanks and please share with all your friends and family.

Here's the link; http://mvp.bissell.com/mvp_PetDetail.aspx?id=8589980854

Thanks and we'll keep you posted!

Great news!!!

2010-01-08T15:18:00.000-08:00

I know it has been quite some time since my last post, so much has happened and one day soon I'll catch up. But for right now I just have to share my great news....I am proud to announce that one of my dog stories, specifically a "Hanna story" has been published in the December January issue of Animal Wellness Magazine. Hanna & the Claus tells the tale of our precious Westie Hanna, who was given "days" to live after a bout of pancreatitis and kidney failure. The story unfolds as an emotional Christmas holiday, a day Hanna loved best, was approaching after her "sentence." Her spirit was up beat as always and we tried to pretend she would be with us for Christmas, but deep down there was tremendous uncertainty and heart break. As we donned our sweater one cold December night, we headed to the center of town with the dogs in tow. And what a wondrous heart warming memory was created! You can obtain a copy of the issue at; http://www.animalwellnessmagazine.com/ or you can visit her site http://home.infionline.net/~forhanna/ in a few weeks and read the shorten version-it'll bring a tear to your eye and some warmth to your heart. Here's the photo of Hanna that was published with the story....

She was just too damn cute and so smart! I hope you read about her on her site AND I am finishing up her book........working title, For the Love of Hanna, It's Okay to Love a Dog, Love. Loss & Healing

Wish me luck for obtaining a publisher!

Commiserate with Jon and Kate plus 8

2009-06-26T04:27:00.000-07:00

(Going way out here...this is NOT typical commentary for me)

I’m not much into reality shows but I admit to watching Jon & Kate Plus 8 on occasion over the past year or so. I, like so many other fans, got caught up in the fascination of raising so many children while apparently maintaining order and sanity for the most part within the family structure. Perhaps my special education background and experiences in working with families and young children drew me further into the show as I watched the dynamics of the parents dealing with day to day issues-jobs, schedules, multiple children with multiple wants and needs, etc. I also was captivated by the beautiful children, watching their growth and interactions as they explore and develop into little individuals. But one thing I never personally saw was a relationship between the parents, with the exception of those times when they were “planning for the kids” or “doing for the kids”. I do not recall (and admit it may have been present in episodes that I haven’t seen), actually seeing Jon & Kate spend any quality time alone or in discussion (and granted that may be none of my business as well and maybe it was planned that way). But I would have enjoyed and felt it to be more “reality” if Jon & Kate had perhaps sat down and talked to each other, really talked. Not intimate details of course, and not the producer stimulated discussions on the chair, but just talked to each other. Perhaps that is something that lacks in a lot of “real” relationships as well-the “just talking” part.

The entire situation is sad. I want to attempt to avoid judgment in any way because…there are only two people who know the true reality and that of course is Jon and Kate. The media, relatives, friends, and others like me can speculate all we want about the situation, but they are the only two who know the truth and bear the responsibility. It has been their choices, their lives, and their children. They’ve just allowed us viewers to be visual participants of certain parts of their lives.

Naturally the concern is for the children first and foremost. They are adorable and so filled with energy-hopefully the divorce, separations, and family changes will have minimal effects. I hope counseling is a part of the healing process for ALL concerned and that includes both parents and any others they choose to bring around their children. I am unaware if Jon & Kate sought counseling before coming to their decisions, which I hope they would have, but again it can be a private matter. It might have been beneficial to their audience to learn that they did try counseling first though, since it is a show based in reality and produced by TLC, which is/should be promoting learning and growth for its viewers. The Learning Channel is a channel to turn to, to learn, right? Why not help people learn to try to deal and cope instead of just giving up. (I’m not saying that Jon & Kate just gave up.)

I also hope that if either parent chooses to enter into another relationship at this time he/she does so with extreme caution. There can be many false “loves” waiting in the wings-face it there’s a lot of publicity and money involved in this family and there are many star struck individuals who might seek involvement just to be a part of it. I hope neither parent falls prey to insincerity on the part of a future partner. Proceed with caution. Perhaps, in my humble opinion, waiting for all to adjust to life changes before getting involved may be a better choice. But as I said…it is their choice and one they and their children will have to live with in the future.

I feel sad for the children who may experience the loss and separation that divorce often brings, but hope that Jon & Kate will continue to keep those beautiful children as the main focus of their lives. I empathize with Jon to a point, as some times he did seem to be beaten down (but he too could have spoken up as he readily admitted). Marriage is a commitment and one that takes two-if you’re unhappy it’s up to you to let your partner know, not seek solace elsewhere. And yes I feel for Kate- for the maternal part and as a woman who must be agonizing over the situations-worrying about the children, concern for her “singleness” and aloneness in raising her family, and yes perhaps the feeling of failure. She too readily acknowledged she was tough on Jon and I have to admit to cringing some times during the show, but again perhaps THAT would have been a great learning experience. How about when Kate was demanding or commanding Jon during an episode, he ever so calmly turned to her and said, “Kate, I don’t appreciate how you are talking to me, especially in front of the children. I need a minute.” (He leaves and then comes back in and asks), “now what is it I can do.” Now there’s a learning experience! But truthfully, can any of us do this in the heat of the moment-I’d like to think so, with focus and determination.

The reality is apparently as stated by Jon & Kate, their marriage is over. I would hope one day they might reconcile because I do believe they started a beautiful ideal with their large family. But if they cannot get back together at some point, I hope they continue to focus on their children, and one day find peace and happiness in their own hearts for themselves. They were blessed with an abundance of little ones and I hope their lives continue to be a blessing to those children-it is all that matters.

Tryin' to go green...

2009-06-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

I've decided to make more of an effort to "go green" as they say. We have done the basic recycling for many years and I've always felt good about that, but I am learning about so many other ways to conserve and protect our earth, and use natural resources.

The first thing I did to avoid as much chemicals in food as possible is join a local organic farm a.k.a a CSA (Community Supported Agriculture). We met the owners of this particular farm two years ago at a local farmer's market. At that time I was trying to convince my husband we needed to eat more organic foods. So once we learned this gentleman's farming methods and beliefs (and met many members of his wonderful family), we decided to join for this current growing season. The season has just started and we picked up our first "fruits" last week. Mmmmm....fresh lettuce and radishes were our choices.

Also, I decided that I myself wanted to try my own raised bed garden. So I planted different lettuces, onions, radishes, rhubarb, strawberries, beans, peas, tomatoes, peppers, garlic, eggplant, zucchini, squash, and would you believe I still have room? My mother was right...nothing tastes better than something you've grown yourself. I'm amazed I've been so successful with it thus far. And boy do I LOVE walking up to the back yard and harvesting for dinner-can't get any fresher!

I also began bin composting earlier this year. I attended a local seminar and learned a lot about it-more than I ever thought was involved. I also purchased a kitchen compost container to collect the compost goodies and transport to the larger bin. I do have a problem keeping it as moist as it should be so I need to be more vigilant with adding water.

In addition to the "food" scraps compost, I also started a yard waste compost pile. I did purchase a cage like bin for this but it is not as sturdy and durable was advertised, so I ended up using other fasteners to keep it together. I will look to getting something different going for next year, but for right now I at least have it functioning.

Oh my gosh I almost forgot our newest composter-The Pet Poo Composter! What a hoot! I'm not kidding-this is actually a system that converts your pet's poo into viable compost-no sh*t! (pun intended) I just set it up so I'll have to see how it goes (no pun intended). But with multiple pets it seemed like a great way to use something that is such a "hot commodity" around here. It was pretty gross putting the worms in the composter though-ick! I'm not that earthy. I'll let you know!

I purchased rain barrels to collect nature's water for gardens, etc. I haven't set them up yet though as we are having some work completed at our house and they would be in the way, so I have to wait a bit for set-up.

Now here's a biggy, for me any way...light bulbs! I am gradually working to change all bulbs to the energy efficient ones. In time..

Our washer and dryer are newer and both carry the energy symbol as does our dish washer, so as appliances break down, hopefully we will be able to continue purchasing "green/energy efficient products."

There are other smaller ways we are trying to conserve but those are the big ones here and I am very proud we are on our way to "Green land." It's very interesting discovering more ways to conserve and save and I'm always looking for new ideas. I hope you all may consider "green efforts" as well-we need to take care of God's earth and it can start with each one of us! Enjoy the beauty of today!

Okay...where's summer?

2009-06-07T03:40:00.000-07:00

This isn't funny any more nor is it the way it is supposed to be-70 degree weather? In June? Seriously! Not to mention that it seems like it has been raining for 30 days straight (OK so perhaps a slight exaggeration). Summer is my most favorite time of year (I know many who share that feeling), and it just seems to be taking forever for it to arrive. I mean the pool is ready albeit a tad cool, the garden is growing along with the weeds, the grass continues to need mowing, all the "joys" of summer abound yet...it is a little nippy. Bummer!

I yearn for the ninety degree days, okay well maybe 85. I don't even have a tan line because the sun hasn't been out long enough to create any. Everything is nice and green and full, but it's mostly been enjoyed from the view from the door. Barbecue season has turned to soggy season where the grill remains under cover and the flavors of summer are on hold until the weather breaks. So I am officially putting in my order...WELCOME SUMMER...where are you...your presence is strongly requested-RIGHT HERE!

A Scottie to Love

2009-06-03T09:55:00.000-07:00

So often in my writing and conversations I often talk about the "girls"-the Westies. While I always include Trevar in some way, some times it seems he gets a back seat. Well this post is for you Trev....

It is because he IS such a laid back Scottish gentleman that perhaps his personality and antics aren't as pronounced and animated, but he has plenty of talent and humor, AND manners. I refer to his "gentlemanly" manners as the way he always allows the girls to go first-whether we're getting out the car, jumping off the bed, or getting in the car-it seems he always will back off from the more "pushier" females (imagine!) and wait until last. It's kinda' funny to watch.

When going for a walk, the mere mention of the word "walk" brings him running, yet when it is time for a leash he often backs away as the westies twirl and bark. He needs to be coaxed to come forward for his leash. He absolutely loves walks and walks so well on a leash-I don't even know he's there most times. And oh if we get to walk by a wall, he wants up in the worst way! Trevar loves to walk high up on walls, and does it great ease and grace. It's so natural for him.

He likes attention but is never pushy about it like the westies. He has a quiet dignity about himself (like most scotties) and if you watch him you can see he's just waiting to burst with affection and hoping for greetings-so it's always important to remind those who think he "doesn't care" that he really does care. Like a lot of scotties, he doesn't care to be held, but will jump up on a lap, or snuggle closely beside you or at your feet, but it is usually on his terms.

Trevar loves to watch for the groundhog family in the back yard and actually shivers with excitement. He knows basic obedience and many many tricks and directions. The greatest of all are the those he invented himself. One is he'll jump almost on your shoulders if you're seated in front of him, and the other is he'll jump on your back if you happen to bend over in front of him. And the best-the all powerful head butt! If he's really happy and excited he'll press his head against you and dig-it's a real hoot! And any time a box comes into the house...well as you can see by the picture...

He is just an all around good boy. He likes everyone and everything and nothing really frazzles him. He LOVES food and can barely wait for meals or treats to handed out. He still learns new tricks and demonstrates his scottie pride at his accomplishments. He is a wonderful companion and a real scottie love.

And no...you can't have him.

I'm soooo ticked...

2009-05-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

And I'm not talking angry here! It never ceases to amaze me that I attract all types of God's creatures-snakes, spiders, and ticks! This morning I took a brief walk up our back yard to feed the run away dog I've been trying to capture, came down to the house, and began my morning yoga routine and lo and behold I felt something on the back of my neck. Well I reached for it and got it, the little bugger! He got a quick trip down the old septic system. A little while later, my husband bent over to look at the floor next to me and picked up another one. Since there wasn't a dog nearby who had just been out in the grass, I had to take the blame.

I've never seen so many ticks and it's early! And don't get me started on tick "stuff" for dogs-they still land on them, the dogs still bring them in, AND the ticks still bite the dogs! So why is it I'm putting these chemicals on my dogs? Maybe I need some for myself, but then again like the dogs, I'd probably STILL carry them around too!

I can't stand the little buggers, but unfortunately I live in the woods. I guess it will be a summer of body and clothing checks and dogs with very short hair cuts!

Life at the base of a mountain

2009-05-27T11:57:00.000-07:00

Remember my previous post about the beauty of the mountain and the peacefulness of where I live? Well that hasn't changed except for some "nature" is wreaking havoc on my garden! This is the first year I planted a rather large raised bed garden in our back yard. I'm trying "go green" and organic as much as possible in our lives. Initially all was well and I figured the garden was safe because it was raised-NOT! I was so proud of my brussel sprout plants as the leaves were growing and the plants were huge, and then one day...all those beautiful large leaves were chewed off. The same happened to my broccoli plants and NOW it is occurring with my lettuce. Little buggers! I believe that I am not only feeding a run away dog (see other blog at www.savingteddy.blogspot.com , I am also serving meals to the rabbit and groundhog families. I might add that they are not invited. Not to say that I don't think they are cute, however not in my garden, and NOT dining on my future dinners. I've tried every environmentally friendly product I could find-hot pepper wax and some other "natural" spray to keep them away. Neither worked and the destruction, their dining, continue. So I went out and bought some fencing to place around the brussel sprouts and the broccoli, so far so good. Now I have to figure out what to do with the lettuce, since there are three separate patches. I also planted lettuce in containers and they don't seem to bother that-hmmmmm. Any way, I was once so proud of my garden, and hopefully will be again soon, as long as the uninvited guests take the hint!

Out of the corner of my eye...

2009-05-21T03:54:00.000-07:00

The dogs and I were taking our usual midday walk in a local cemetery . Part of the cemetery is covered in brush but there is a macadam road which we can walk upon. As we paced down the field area and were heading back up the hill, something made me hesitate. I usually try to walk in the center of the road, but the three dogs and one dog stroller span most of the road so we're pretty close to the edges.

As I adjusted the dog leashes in my left hand, I somehow felt the need to look right...and then I saw it. There was a snake sitting in the strike pose on the edge of the road in line with the weeds! I froze momentarily and stood there is disbelief. I had seen snakes there before but they usually crossed my path quickly or retreated back into the bush, but this one was ready!

I couldn't exactly see what kind it was but his head seemed shiny and that's about as close or as much as I wanted to see. Fortunately the dogs didn't see it either although they know (for the most part) to "leave it" when it comes to snakes. I backed up slowly and his head went down. I don't know where he went nor to I care to know. I only hope to never meet him or his friends again.

My husband says that I see so many of these creatures because they know I love all of God's creatures and they just want to come to say "hi." My husband thinks he's funny...NOT!

Sure is pretty!

2009-05-11T04:24:00.000-07:00

I am so fortunate to live in a beautiful place, filled with nature. I live at the base of Sharp Mountain. While in my back yard it may seem like I'm miles from traffic and the hustle and bustle of a town, realistically it's only one mile away via roadway. I have lived here most of my life and except for winter (it may be beautiful but I don't like the cold), I really can't imagine living any where else-it just wouldn't feel like home.

At any given moment I can look out the back door or window and see all types of creatures wandering about seeking food or playfullying taunting others from trees. Groundhogs (which I need to have serious talk with as they are inundating my garden), chipmunks which "chirp" for their breakfast on the side porch, the Eastern Blue Birds which I enticed to our yard last year have returned, squirrels in abundance, deer, foxes, and of course Teddy the runaway dog I've been trying to catch.

The mountain is now becoming full as the trees begin to bud and bloom. Sporadic colors of flowers decorate the mountainous space and the world literally seems to be changing right before my eyes. I am so lucky to live in a place where natural beauty is right outside my back door.

The Knee

2009-05-07T04:29:00.000-07:00

Well after six months of waking up at night with a locked and painful knee, I has the "scope" last week. Apparently there was a small tear in the meniscus that didn't appear on the MRI (didn't feel small to me). So that was repaired and some scraping was performed and now I'm working to get back to my workout routines. I am so excited because now I am hopeful that I might be able to jog once again. Previously I couldn't take the pain of the pounding on the ground when running, but hopefully this will heal and I'll be able to do that plus other activities in comfort.

I must say after five previous scopes I was shocked to wake from anesthesia and not have any pain-I'm not kidding! Of course over the next few days more swelling and some discomfort set in, but nothing like the original injury back in October 08-yikes! Swimming season is coming up so I'm sure that will help the rehab process as well. I return for a Dr's. visit next week and we'll get his assessment. Overall I am very pleased with the procedure and outcome thus far, and with the Dr. (even though he was pretty much a "straight man" during office visits). I guess that shouldn't matter as long as his skills and gifts are in his knowledge and surgical hands-which they are. I can't wait till this is healed! I feel like an entire new world will be available! Woohoo!

The Loss of a Dear Friend

2009-05-04T05:12:00.000-07:00

Last week was an emotional week, not only with knee surgery, and attempts at rescuing a runaway dog, but a dear friend was lost. She fought the valiant battle, savored every moment of her life with her husband, children, and grandchildren, continued her hobbies and always tried to live life as each day would allow. She was one of the strongest and most courageous people I knew, and I was proud to have her AND her husband and family as friends. Her name, Arlene Rizzardi.

Arlene and I met several years ago at work. Our program was going through some changes and she was brought in as Administrative Assistant-she was a God send! Our supervisor has suffered a serious illness and I was asked to try to “run” things for a while. I also had a full case load of students so it was very difficult as far as time. Arlene was there, and helped in more ways than she ever knew.

Outside of work (and at work) we developed a friendship, and oh did we have good times!!!! The Rizzardi house was always a welcome retreat for all ages. Almost any time you could find friends of their four children and their own friends mingling and enjoying each other’s company. It was a “home” for many and often their children’s friends would stop by without their children even being there-that’s just how it was! Everyone always felt at home at the Rizz’s! And it was Arlene and George that made it that way!

We often went out dancing and partying on Fridays and some times Thursdays-we ALWAYS had a great time! Laugh, dance, and enjoying the crowd was the motto for the evening. Arlene even taught me some great dances-the five point (I think she taught me and her daughter Lisa the same night), the Calypso, and the stroll-she was just that way always charged and ready to have fun.

Arlene and George were a very special part of our wedding as well. Arlene was our greeter and George kept the drivers and every one else in line. It was just the way it should have been in my mind-Arlene was always the first person seen when anyone entered our offices at work, so she should have been the first person seen at our wedding. It was just the way I wanted it. She was so brave even then as our wedding occurred not long after she was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called Carcinoid. Didn’t stop her though-she and George were both there and made our day all the more special!

You know how friends are-we could talk about anything! And George is the same way-although some times George and I would go off a little too far and Arlene would remind us, nicely of course, that we were straying a bit too far. It never mattered where we were; we talked, laughed, and some times shared a tear or two. Their front porch was a great stopping place, as was their kitchen. When possible we'd join together for breakfast on a Sunday as the years went on. Even if we didn’t talk for a while, we could always just pick up as if we saw each other yesterday-Arlene was just that kind of a person.

When she was preparing to enter the hospital for her heart valve procedure, she sent out an email to us all, letting us know what was coming up and for one of the first times ever, expressing some concern and worriment. I wrote back to her and told her as I (and others) have said many times, “You are one of the most courageous and strongest people I know, and you can do it.” Those were the last words I shared with my friend. When I spoke with her husband George after her procedures, Arlene was having difficult times, but the family was still hopeful. Unfortunately as time went on Arlene’s body was unable to continue the battle she fought so valiantly for ten and one half years, she passed away. As the family made their announcement on their Caring Bridge web site, I wept. It was the saddest news, and even though I knew she was struggling, I still didn’t expect it. Why? Because Arlene was a fighter, she survived and LIVED through more that I or anyone else I know has-she seemed to almost take things in stride and didn’t obsess over it. She accepted it all, did what she could, and moved on as she was able-what a strong person!

George called me, bless him, on Thursday night after the family returned home. I was so grateful for his call-after all he had been through; he took some time to call me, I was touched. We talked for a bit, and it felt so good just to talk. He is so lucky (as was Arlene) to have four terrific children, and sons and daughter in-laws, and grand babies-they will always have each other, and they ALL will always have Arlene.

So I say to my friend Arlene…you remain one of the strongest and most courageous people I have ever known. Thank you for your friendship, thank you for sharing your terrific family, and opening your home to so many. Thank you for everything you did when we worked together, and most of all thank you for all the wonderful memories-you will never be forgotten! Rest in peace, my friend!

What a weekend!

2009-04-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well The Miracle Worker Show closed on Sunday with a bang! What a cast, great bunch! In my humble opinion Rori did very well today, and for the all the shows considering it was something very new for her. She was exhausted though by the time we got home, and didn't even really want to eat her dinner. She had a bit of air about her with the other dogs, but I reminded her that she is "one of the pack" at home, not a soloist. She recieved many compliments to which I am very grateful. She is truly very animated, bright, and showy when given the opportunity.

I too was tired, but unfortunately did not get much sleep because Little Miss Maddie apparently had an upset belly for most of the night. She was very restless and needed consoling, so I spent my night trying to comfort her. By morning she was fine again. Her belly seems very sensitive and we might have to keep a closer watch on that.

It's funny how good it feels after a performance...it generates a feeling of accomplishment, and just feels darn good. Great weekend! How was yours?

Theater & Rori

2009-04-25T04:41:00.000-07:00

Well first off, I have to thank the Strawberry Playhouse, and director Lucille Fala-Brennan for giving Rori the supporting role of Belle, in The Miracle Worker. It has been an interesting and educational journey and has taught me a lot about animals and the theater. It is NOT as easy as it seems!

When I work my dogs, I typically can be near by in well lit areas offering hand signals or support of some sort. However in theater, it is an entirely different story. First, it is LIVE, and second the audience area is dark, so I had to rely on rehearsals to provide Rori with the experiences and actions needed, and I had to heavily rely on the actors. Not all actors own pets nor have experience with them so I needed to be sure they felt as comfortable as possible with the dog and attempting to keep her in the scene. This was not always an easy task as Rori, initially wasn't sure what was expected. So with a few more prompts and hints for the actors all seemed to eventually fall into place. And at the conclusion of Rori's scene one time, she didn't want to leave the stage, but the gentleman playing Captain Keller kept his character and escorted her off as part of the show. As the shows progressed all actors including Rori seem to adjust to each other and find their way to providing poignant scenes. When some of the actors changed roles, it once again became an adjustment for EVERYONE. I understand that playing a role and trying to keep an animal in the scene can be challenging, but there are tricks to used, and prayers to said (haha). All in all it has been a great experience and if asked, I would do it again with any of my dogs. The only things I might do differently is ask the director for permission to address the cast and discuss working with whatever pet is going to participate. As each person has their own personality, so does each animal-everyone needs to have a basic understanding of one another for it to be a successful and believable journey. I would discuss the basics of handling and working with a dog. I also would ideally request a few more short rehearsals just so the dog can experience the people, stage, and scene, and so the actors can begin to develop a working relationship with the dog.

It has been a wonderful experience-we have two more shows. Tonight, and tomorrow is the close. Wish us "break a leg!"

Been too long....

2009-04-23T10:07:00.000-07:00

It's about time to get back to writing...this blog that is. So much has happened over the past few months I couldn't even begin to write it all, so we'll start from today with some quick history.

Yes, Maddie the newest pup, is completely housebroken and has been for quite some time. She continues to be a little shy around new things but now explores with encouragement. She's learning new tricks all the time. She has just started her first formal obedience class.

Trevar, our handsome Scottie, unfortunately had a MAJOR dental dilemma to where he had to have several back teeth extracted. This was the first time he ever had any problem, but he took it all better than I would have. It was a very strange anomaly and one we hope we never see repeated. He's looking forward to the pool opening.

Darby, our eldest Westie, celebrated her 16 th birthday on March 2! Hard to believe. Since she came to live with me when she was almost two, I continually remind her she at least owes me two years. Her eye sight is failing along with her hearing (except when she hears dinner), and motorically she is a little awkward (except when she hears dinner), but she is still very much enjoying herself. And we enjoy her silliness too!

And then there is Rori...the animated one. Rori had the distinct honor to debut in community theater. Rori has been playing the part of Belle in The Miracle Worker production at The Strawberry Playhouse in Tuscarora, PA. It has been a fun and interesting experience and she has met a lot of new people. She has enjoyed the attention and I think she even liked being on stage, once she became familiar with the routine. (Below Rori pictured w/one of the young actresses portraying Helen Keller-face blurred pending permission of parents) Rori will be performing again this weekend with a different young actress.

"For the Love of Hanna" my latest work-in-progress is progressing, albeit slowly. I hope to have it completed including edits, by summer. I have to.

So that pretty much is catch-up...at least with the dogs.

Oh we're trying to rescue a dog that has been running the mountain for almost a year, check out his blog/story http://savingteddy.blogspot.com

Joys of House Training-Just When I thought She was Catching On...

2008-11-25T04:44:00.001-08:00

a little puddle appeared. Up until now Lil' Miss Maddie (now 13 weeks) has been pretty reliable without accidents. Of course it seems that every waking moment that she is outside her crate, I run her in and out. Yes I exaggerate, but it feels that way some days. She is on a schedule- first thing in the morning, after food, after play, and after nap. That's a lot of "afters." But I know it won't last forever, and perhaps in another few weeks all those trips in and out will be a thing of the past...I hope. And hey look! Her ears are up!

Not Much Info...

2008-11-25T04:33:00.000-08:00

Well I finally heard from the doctor's office...two days later. The info was pretty scant, nothing to write home about. I was told there was an injury but no tears, I should start physical therapy and return to the office in 6 weeks. Hmmm....that doesn't tell me why I still wake up during the night in agony, but I guess since I'm not sleeping with the doctor or his staff, they really don't care. Of course I can return if "things change or get worse." Perhaps I should attempt to return now and then maybe by the time the six weeks are up...I might have made contact. Cynical, I know.

I'm Still Waiting...

2008-11-17T04:41:00.000-08:00

Well here it eleven, almost 12 days after my MRI and I still haven't heard a word. However, the story doesn't stop there, there's MORE!

Through the years I've had a few unfortunate run-ins with medical professionals- from doctors right on down the line to their receptionists. Now you might think that I am demanding or inconsiderate or just plain rude to have had so many of these experiences, but I tell you that couldn't be further from the truth. I swear as God is my witness! That is not to say I will take a back seat, but I just typically weigh my odds and battles carefully.

The nasty experiences were not necessarily about me, some times they involved the care of extended family, or even a violation of my own privacy right! For example, my doctor's office sent my medical records to a former employee WITHOUT my consent. Actually, I had written them a letter specifically stating where the medical records were to be sent, but did they listen? NO! I had to retrieve my very personal information from an employer which I no longer had any contact with. Of course the employer assured me that "no one read the records." Yes, and I fell off the turnip truck yesterday.

Another incident involved my aunt who went into respiratory failure. Upon taking her to a local hospital we were met by a very condescending and RUDE physician. You would not believe how she spoke to my 80 year old mother! I had left the room momentarily and came back to my mother in utter shock from the way this person spoke. As she told me about it my blood began to boil, but then I looked at my aunt struggling to breath and I decided to calm down. I approached the Doctor and she literally went off on my about how I refused treatment for my aunt before, and how no doctor wants to treats her, and why don't we go back the out of town hospital where she was before! I was flabbergasted! A woman lies struggling to breath and this woman/Doctor is spewing such lies-where did this come from? As I continued to question her the answer soon came out (and doctors are supposed to be so smart). Seems our family doctor (who doesn't go to the hospital) made the mistake of referring her to an internist's practice which she had left due to lack of treatment. Allow me to clarify-my aunt had some serious medical issues which left her physically weak, with a temporary tracheotomy, and suffering from a poor swallow response. We were told by the University Hospital which treated her, that it would take time but she would be able to have the trach removed after much therapy. Since that hospital was 50 miles from home, my aunt decided to come closer for treatment. Unfortunately, the doctor here decided the trach was permanent and therapy would be of no benefit. My aunt decided she wanted to go back to the hospital's rehab at the university. Guess who the doctor at the local nursing home was? The same Doctor who got the ER doctor all rilled up saying we refused treatment. When I discovered this is where is came from, I politely yet firmly told the ER doctor that "we did NOT refuse treatment, we refused LACK of treatment." Of course it didn't matter, her mind was made up and she told every other doctor her lie. Mean while my aunt struggled for breath. Finally a pulmonary doctor who had treated my aunt before agreed to see and treat her, of course I had to hear about from him too. And he didn't want to hear my story either, after all I'm only a lay person NOT a doctor. My aunt passed away several days later.

I know there are many others who can share stories such as these. As a matter of fact I have been sitting on my own book, titled, The Dark Side of Medicine for quite some time. I don't know what I'm waiting for as far as submitting to publishers, I just feel I need to wait a bit. But I digress...

So almost 2 weeks ago I had an MRI, after I decided to have second opinion on my knee. The MRI center told me that they will send me the disc and I am to get it to the doctor. During my initial office visit, the Dr. told me that I was to call his office after I thought he would have received the reports (first conflict). So I wait, and wait and wait and so 6 days pass and no MRI film in my box, so I call the doctor's office. They don't have it either. I call the MRI center, they refer me to radiology, who then tells me the disc is still there. Hmmmm....so I go and pick it up. I then send it via UPS over night. UPS felt that is would get there before lunch the next day. So I wait until the following day to call the Dr's. office. With a very short and snippy person on the line, I am informed it is not there. I question how that can be since I shipped it overnight. She responds, "we didn't have mail yesterday." My response, "I sent it UPS. You mean you didn't get any deliveries?" Avoiding my question she said the doctor would call me when he sees it. I said "but the Dr. told me I was to call him!" She said, "well you already called us once, so we'll call you."

Uh-huh.

Another day passes and all I really want to know is that the large fee I paid to ship the darn film wasn't in vain. So I call the office again, just explaining I want to just make sure the film arrived. The receptionist who was very snippy previously, was even more so today. With a very exasperated "hold on" she leaves me hanging in telephone space for a lengthy time. She returns and using a tone I wouldn't use on road kill says, "The Dr. has it he'll call you today or tomorrow." As I attempted to ask another question I was privy to a loud fumbling hang up. No thank, no good bye, no kiss my grits. I was furious! Who do these people think pays their salaries? No one is THAT great that people will keep coming back to pay to be treated rudely-c'mon! This type of scenario, at least in my experiences, seems to happen most within medicine. One doctor even had the audacity to say to me in regards to another colleague's tirade with me, that he was probably having a bad day. Can you imagine! As a teacher there may have been many bad days of my own, but never did I take it out on the children or their families-I wonder if a Dr would be so forgiving in that instance-doubtful. It just amazes me that people who are in and paid for caring and tending others can be so gosh darn rude. Blows my mind!

Pet Food that Kills

2008-11-13T05:21:00.000-08:00

2007 was a year of loss and heavy emotion for us. Hanna developed pancreatitis and kidney failure in November 2006, but had recovered (much to every one's surprise, and to our delight)and was maintaining very well after her initial healing. So the early months of 2007 were filled with joy in that Hanna's illness had turned around. In March of 2007, we saw our cat Kearsey begin to deteriorate and refuse her food, which is something she never did. Initially I chalked some of her changes up to the aging process, but I became more concerned when I needed to almost force feed her. As I prepared to take her to the vet one morning, she went into a seizure.

She never had seizures before, and was given a pretty clean bill of health at her last vet visit. She came out of that seizure and when I touched her, she went into another one. We rushed her to the Emergency Vet Clinic to discover she was in kidney failure, which was suspect of eating tainted food. I was furious. I was also upset because I had tried to force feed her the poisoned food. (You can read more about her story on Hanna's site. Parts of her story also appeared in the editorial of Animal Wellness Magazine in 2007) The options were to try to treat her or euthanasia. Of course I opted for treatment.

Now I had two pets being treated for kidney disease. It was like a hospital unit upstairs. Bags of fluids hung from an IV pole. Needles and alcohol swaps nearby. Every day at noon time the subcutaneous drips were administered. First for Hanna as she usually wanted it over quickly so she could move on, and second for Kearsey. Hanna was definitely more tolerant of the treatment while poor Kearsey absolutely hated it. But unfortunately, it was helping to sustain both of them.

Upon purchasing single cans of a prescription diet for Hanna, as opposed to the usual case, I began to notice that she was avoiding this once loved canned food. She ate the dry and anything else in her bowl but she did not want to eat this. I thought this was odd because it was only that one part of her diet. (Again you can read more about this on her site.) I realized that some times animals with kidney disease refused food, but it typically would be all food. I finally had her blood levels drawn and they were the same as before. This was perplexing because I could see her changing, but I kept trying to get her to eat the food "That saved her" before. I took her for another vet check and was told she checked out "good" and there was no need for another blood test as she just had one two weeks prior. I began to suspect the canned food as it did contain an ingredient which was suspect of being tainted, rice protein concentrate. I made several calls to this pet food company and was basically given scant scripted information. Within two weeks of her "good" blood test and 3 weeks of her refusal of the canned food-she became anemic (which she never was), developed crystals in her urine, and went into kidney failure. She was euthanized within three weeks of this entire scenario. I will always believe it was the food, and based on her history no one will ever convince me otherwise. Even though this company never officially recalled this product (can you imagine the devastation to their business and profits if they had to recall a popular prescription diet?), I believe it was tainted. It all happened too fast and way out of context and history for Hanna. Of course, the company would never admit to this because even the smallest amount of toxin fed to an already compromised animal would do more damage, and they can't come forward and admit their food was a problem. They would choose to say "it was the natural course of the pet's illness," and I say "not this time." I know my dog and her medical history and I saw her sudden changes. I just wonder how many other already ill pets fell prey to the alleged lie. I would question any pet with kidney disease, who was eating these products, and died during 2007. Too much coincidence. No matter if fault is ever admitted, it won't bring Hanna back. But it has opened my eyes, I will never use any products from this company again.

So in May of 2007, we laid precious Hanna to rest. Kearsey was still battling, but within a month she lost her eye sight suddenly. She had a difficult time adjusting to this sudden loss. It was sad. In August of 2007 Kearsey died. Five months after her diagnosis. She ate food from the same company as Hanna. In my eyes and heart, that company took something away from me that can never be replaced. Because of their neglect and lack of proper product screening, I will always believe I lost two very precious friends. If all the companies would have been up front and honest, caring about their consumers from the beginning, they might still have my support, but unfortunately, it can only be construed as greed. They took away my ability to give my pets the basic necessities with confidence, and that is unforgivable.

Local Family Reading Festival

2008-11-11T13:03:00.000-08:00

What a great time we had this past Saturday! Our local newspaper, along with the Literacy Council, PBS, and a local preschool organization hosts a reading festival every year at a local mall. Schools are invited to attend and provide the visiting children with a variety of activities, while authors are invited to share their books and talk with the children and families. It was a record day as reported by the organizing party! Close to 600 hundred children attended the four hour event.

Since my latest children's book, The Smith Family's New Puppy-Helping Children Cope with a New Family Member, utilizes my own animals as the characters, I had two of the "characters" attend to help promote. They were quite the attention getter's and many didn't even realize they were real until they saw them move. Trevar our Scottie and the adopted character in the story, sat proudly as passersby talked to him. Since we lost Hanna last year, I brought Rori our young Westie along. Darby (the other Westie in the story) is very shy as I adopted her when she was 2. She doesn't like to be in strange places so she stayed at home with puppy Maddie.

I was so proud of the dogs as people commented on how quiet and well behaved they were. Of course it gave me a good forum to promote dog training classes as well. Hanna, Trevar, and Rori have always accompanied us to shows and are quite used to the hub bub, so they enjoy sitting perched on their table taking in the scenery. I now look at little Maddie and wonder if I will ever get her to the same point as the others. You know how puppies are-short attention spans and highly distractable.

It was kind of cute to see people look at the book, then look at the photo of the dogs on the table, and then with surprise, look up and actually see two real dogs. The book store actually asked me to bring them to a signing if we can set one in before the holidays. So I guess, dog training pays off.

We met a lot of people and sold a good amount of books. The publicity for the event was fantastic and I believe there were at least 12 other authors in attendance as well-great for the children to see so many writers! It was a great day and I was honored to have been a part of it. I think the dogs enjoyed it as well.

Oh I forgot! I had quite a few old friends stop by, ones that I hadn't seen in years-so it really was a great day!

Is It an "Age" Thing? Perhaps...

2008-11-06T04:32:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went for an MRI on my right knee. Almost from the beginning of my natural life I seemed to have orthopedic issues. When I was very young they planted me in ugly, and I mean ugly ortho shoes to supposedly correct my flat feet. Well guess what....they're still flat! I spent years enduring the shame, torture and humiliation of those darn shoes (okay I'm over dramatizing a bit, but you get the point).

When I turned 6 my legs grew faster than my body, and as I look at those pictures now I laugh at the skinny gangly blond headed young girl. Arms appearing to reach the sides of her knees and legs seemingly starting at her neck and heading south. OK again perhaps a slight exaggeration.

Since I loved to play sports my ortho problems seemed to follow and I was always taped up before games. I remember as a teenager laying in bed a night with intense pain in my knees. It would often keep me awake, but I thought it was the price I had to pay to play. Doctor after doctor gave little support-"growing pains" was typically the response. Funny how the "growing pains" never went away after I was done growing.

Since I marched in a drum and bugle corps from ages 11.5-17 a lot of time was spent pounding my knees on grass, roadways, or any other marchable surface. I had to wear knee supports and pads to protect my overly sensitive knees. But the pain and discomfort of my knee issues neither kept me from playing sports or marching with the drum and bugle corps. I always needed to be active. It wasn't until I was 27 years did I learn the "name" of my knee ailments-chrondomalacia bilateral patella alta and Osgood Schlatter's Disease. Interesting...I thought it was growing pains?

So I would be plagued with some issues throughout my life. It's okay, one learns to deal. Throughout the years I've had some knee scopes, a torn meniscus and a few minor twist and turn injuries, but I just kept on going as I LOVE to play.

This year, right before my favorite time of year Summer, I severely sprained my lower back, and I mean severely! I never knew such pain. This was an area that had never had a problem so this was definitely new to me. Agony, pure agony-months later I'm still contending with back issues, and I often find myself in disbelief. I thought if one exercised those types of things didn't happen. I guess I'm a tad naive or frankly stupid, because injuries can happen to any one, at least that's what I've been told. So that has been my Summer and now Fall, back issues.

So I finally join up with our alumni corps, the Belvederes. We had a few parades and standstill concerts lined up. I was excited to be back with old friends, and feeling like a youngster once again. It was the second parade I participated in since going back, and it was in our home town. It was just like old times until...I planted my foot and my knee bent and turned the opposite way-ewiooooouuu! I stopped only momentarily as the horn line was marching my way. I hobbled off to the side of the road in agony, still thinking in my mind, "it's just a cramp, it will go away-WRONG!" As the corps and the remainder of the parade marched by I sat on the side walk accompanied only by my cymbals AND excruciating pain. I couldn't move. Not only was I mortified, I really didn't know what to do. A nice gentleman came over and asked if I was okay, I said "yes" initially and when I tried to move changed it to "no I guess not." To make a long story short, an officer came over, then one ambulance, then another and I ended up being transported via ambulance to a local hospital where they nicely offered to cut off my pants. I declined and said I could take the tugging on my leg to pull them off-yeah, right.

After ice, x-ray, and exam the ER doctor informed me he suspected some pretty intense damage (no kidding). I was sent home with crutches, a knee immobilizer, a prescription for pain (it was 10 pm in our everything closed town), a very serious "You absolutely MUST see your orthopedic doctor tomorrow," and lots and lots of pain. My ortho visit the following day was uneventful-"try to wean yourself off the immobilizer and crutches and start Physical Therapy. OK.

The pain didn't allow much sleep and the therapy was painful. But most disconcerting of all was the minimal improvement with treatment and the concerns expressed as to whether there was more to this injury. So off for a second opinion, more x-rays, a second exam, and an MRI.

Still in pain (14 days later) with knee slightly bent, I await the results of the MRI. My conclusion-if I would just sit still and not participate in anything, perhaps I would remain injury free. But then again, COULD I do this? Better still...do I really want to? Nah...I wanna' have fun, pain and all. I want to participate in as much as possible, it keeps me humble and active.

So is it an age thang? Maybe, maybe not. Seems to have followed me for a very long time, and I'll just continue to turn around and chase it right back. Results of MRI, pending.

My Latest Work-in-Progress

2008-11-05T04:32:00.000-08:00

I have been so blessed by many things in my life and that includes sharing my home with many wonderful pets through the years. They have always brought me great joy and comforted me in times of need. As any pet lover knows, they seem to sense the need, and answer it so willingly.

Hanna was such a dog. A small West Highland White Terrier who sought my attention from her puppy pen so long ago. She was the tiniest member of her litter mates but her personality was huge. She was quick to learn and loved any type of attention. Hanna loved to perform whether it was in the show ring or at a nursing home, she was always happy for applause.

Diagnosed with kidney disease at a very early age, never stopped Hanna from living her life to the fullest. Among her many nicknames was "Happy Hanna." She was always happy. Her tail was always up and wagging and she sought eye contact to make sure you noticed her. How could any one ignore her, she was "just too damn cute!"

Her book, tentatively titled For the Love of Hanna-It's Okay to Love of a Dog, was actually inspired by her web site of the same name. As I tried to heal from her loss her stories vividly appeared in my mind and subsequently on paper. I decided to create a web site to honor her memory, but it was also an instrument to visually remind me about her many wonderful life stories that sustained and entertained us through the years. Her antics, her pictures, her love, her spirit and strength and her dedication to life has always been an inspiration. I received some nice feedback from readers of her site and was encouraged at how people were touched by her stories and how they readily shared a Hanna story may have sparked a memory of their own departed friend. It was very touching.

And so I began writing and filling pages with Hanna stories-struggles, triumphs, loves, losses, questions, healing and so much more. I have been stuck on the final chapter for some time. This is the place where I am reviewing her medical history and saying final good byes-it is difficult for me to focus as even after a years her loss brings tears. She was so special! Writing her final chapter is like the the emotional finale of her life, I can't help but wonder if my subconscious is clinging to that thought and blocking my words. I continue to tell myself when it is finished she will live on in those pages, just as she, Darby, Trevar, and Kearsey live on in my children's book, The Smith Family's New Puppy.

My goal is to finish that final chapter, edit, and edit again and begin submitting to prospective publishers by the end of this year. My hope for her title is to help others spark memories of their pets and to ideally support their healing and validate some of the feelings that come during a time of loss. Of course, I hope we can make them laugh as well, Hanna was always good at being funny.

I hope you'll visit her site and keep an eye out for her book. Well wishes are always welcome!

Lil' Maddie

2008-11-04T12:07:00.001-08:00

Ah yes...so cute, so tiny, and so....well...untrained! It is always difficult to adjust to a little mind that is just starting to learn and explore, when you have seasoned and learned canines in your home. It's like...what was I thinking?

She just turned 10 weeks old, and has now taken us back to the four dog household. We lost our precious Hanna in May of 2007 and although her void will never be filled, we do welcome our newest little one. (You can read more about Hanna on her own site, link below and to the right. Her site and supporters have encouraged me to write her book which is near completion.)

Maddie is a handful, aren't most puppies? In two days she has learned to respond to her name and "come," hopefully it will last. She has potential no doubt, but it is her humans who will have to continue to be vigilant with her training. Puppy teeth hurt and I forgot just how much until a few days ago.

I thought Darby our eldest would take her under her wing as she did with all the others, but as of yet, this hasn't happened. We were concerned about Rori, our youngest Westie, as she has always been a bit more temperamental than the others, however, she is showing a greater interest in Maddie that the others...unless she secretly wants to eat her. Trevar our most laid back dog and Scottie has turned a surprising snarling tooth at Maddie, much to our surprise. We realize it takes time for all to adjust, and it just may take a bit longer as Hanna was pretty much the leader and all followed her lead.

Potty training has been great, not that she understands, I do. I know to take her out after food, after play, and some times in between. It will all come together...it will just take time. I

Just When I Thought it was safe...a Migraine Attacked

2008-11-04T05:54:00.000-08:00

Migraine, that pick ax pain penetrating my forehead followed by nausea, dizziness, and that overall "rotten feeling." It's the kind of body experience that takes over your entire being. And it came rolling into my head like a runaway freight train early Saturday morning.

I actually had pretty much convinced myself that the intense 3 day Migraines occurring 9-12 days or more per month may be a thing of the past. I hadn't experience a knock down drag out one for over a month. That is not to say I didn't have one during that month, they were just manageable. I had started acupuncture sessions and was feeling confident that they were helping (I still believe-I'm just a bit disillusioned at this point). I also had been maintaining a healthy regimented exercise program as well, complete with cardio, strength training, pilates, and yoga. Of course on "dizzy days" those activities may not occur, but I try my best to maintain those routines. The dogs typically accompany me on my walks so we all stay healthy.

So back to Saturday...not only did I have a headache increasing in intensity as the day went on, but we had planned on picking up a puppy on this day. A young puppy was to join our mature bunch of canines-ages 15.5 years, 7.9 years, and 3.8 years-what am I, nuts? The answer is...yes, you guessed it.

With head pounding we drove 40 miles to pick up our charge, and she carried on inconsolably all the way home. I continued to try to remain calm throughout the day as stress only increases the headache discomfort. I did well for the most part; I kept my patience, reminded others, human and furry that she needed time to adjust, and was able to monitor crowd control, but my head pounded and I was actually...miserable. But we made it through that day and night with the puppy. She actually slept through the entire night, I wish I could say the same for me. Toss and turn, dizziness, head pain, absolute torture throughout the night and then morning comes...ick! What a feeling! It all becomes worse on the second day.

I decided to go the extra-strength Excedrin route, but I had to eat something first or it would burn my stomach. Now how does one eat when one is nauseous? Verrrrry carefully. While the Excedrin brought some relief it was not enough to squelch my miserableness inside. But I did persevere with the help of my husband, and the "crew" managed. Ice packs from head to neck and back again, exerting pressure on the painful sites of my head, and squeezing the back of my neck all are rituals of the dreaded Migraine "dance." Did I mention I was also suppose to read during worship service Sunday? You know that didn't happen. And there you have an emotional side of Migraine-how does one commit to anything when the possibility and surprise of Migraine may occur? I admit I've gotten better about the guilt of canceling, but it still is quite troublesome-I HATE to commit and then go back on my word. Perhaps it is a flaw in my character but it just makes me feel plain awful!

Monday morning found me very very nauseous and dizzy, and guess what? I needed to travel 35 miles to see a specialist that day. I had injured my knee a week ago and while it had improved somewhat, it wasn't doing as well as hoped sought out a second opinion. Well fortunately by the time we had to leave for the appointment the dizziness and nausea had settled enough to get me there. Did I mention when it rains it pours?

The results of the "knee visit" are yet to be determined. I'll keep you posted. As for the Migraine, while better today, its effects linger-a little nausea, a little dizziness, and a little exhaustion from lack of restful sleep, but we'll manage and hopefully as the day goes on, it will all be better.

Introduction and Blog plan

2008-10-31T05:12:00.000-07:00

Well I finally did it...started an official blog that is! So? Where to begin? My plan for this space is to share, receive feedback (mostly good hopefully), and learn with my soon to be readers. You are out there right? I hear a definite echo at this point.

These are the areas I hope to focus on within my blog world; my pets-those wonderful furry little beasties that fill my heart, my creative world-my books, articles, and commentary on the creative side of life, life in general which can bring great joy and often deep contemplation, Migraines-ick those nasty boogers that have tortured me for many many years, and my latest passion, the Belvederes Drum and Bugle Corps Alumni Association.

So there you have it...the beginning, my hopes and aspirations, the initial post in what I hope will be an interesting and some times humorous place to share. Hey if nothing else it encourages improving my typing skills. So if you're in the neighborhood, why not stop by?